Troubleshooting staplers

*Man walks up to desk*
Me: Hi! Did you need help with anything?
Man: Oh no, I’m fine.
Me: Okay good.
Man: *grabs stapler* Are there staples in this stapler?
Me: It’s not stapling?
Man: I just wanted to be sure there were staples in here.
Me: …I can check if you want?
Man: Ok thanks *hands me the stapler*
Me: *Looks and sees the stapler is full* So there are plenty of staples in there.
Man: How can you tell? 
Me: There’s a slot on the side.
Man: Oh….can you open it just to be sure? I don’t want marks or other holes on my papers.
Me: (what????)….*opens stapler and shows him a full row of staples*
Man: Ok great thank you.

I can’t make this up.

Maths

*Adult male walks in*
Man: I’m looking for a math book.
Me: Ok, sure. What area of math are you looking for?
Man: Just math.
Me: Okay, no problem.We have a lot of math books, most of them are about a particular kind of math, like Arithmetic, Trigonometry, etc. 
Man: Yes, I want that book.
Me: Which kind of math book? Trigonometry?
Man: Just math. Only math.
Me: Okay, are you asking for a general book on math?
Man: Sure. Yes. I think.
*Walks man over to math section*
Me: Okay, here is our math section. Here is a book that discusses all math subjects.
Man: Just math? It’s just math in there?
Me:…this book has ALL math in it. I believe it has the math you’re looking for.
Man: Okay, I’ll try this, I hope just math is in here. Will this also talk about 3rd grade math?
Me: We have math books for 3rd graders in the children’s section, but they only prepare the children for the state exam.
Man: Oh, no, I am going to teach high school math. That wont work.
Me: *slowly backs away* 
Okay well that book should help, feel free to browse this area for more…please let me know if you need anything else 
*praying he needs nothing else* 
I’ll be at the desk.

It’s Wednesday.