Make less.

Child: I tried to return my books and the machine outside wouldn’t take them.
Me: When were they due?
Child: March 18th.
Me: *checks date* that was almost a month ago, you’re going to have late fees.
Child: But I tried to return them and the machine wasn’t working.
Me: Did you try coming inside and giving it to one of us to check in?
Child: No, we had to go somewhere.
Me: Well then you’re going to get late fees.
Mother: We tried to return them and the machine wasn’t working.
Me: I’m aware, but you could have just called us when we were open and we could have renewed over the phone.
Mother: I didn’t do that.
Me: Well, I’m sorry but you’re going to get late fees.
Mother: How much?
Me: Not a lot, it’s $7.80.
Mother: *grimaces* make less.
Me: I’m sorry?
Mother: Make less. I want you to make less.
Me: Make less? Make the fines less?
Mother: Yes.
Me: You turned them in a month late, I can’t waive your fines. She can do book reports or read in the library to lower the fines.
Mother: *counts out $7.80* here.
Me: You have to pay up front.

SHE HAS YET TO PAY THE MONEY SHE DEFINITELY HAD.

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Crazy people be crazy

Man: Where is the bathroom key?
Me: Right in front of you sir…no…straight ahead….there it is 🙂
Man: MICHELLE AND BARACK OBAMA HAD 8 YEARS OF ADMINISTRATION AND YOU PUT DONALD TRUMP IN THE WHITE HOUSE BECAUSE YOU’RE A DEMOCRAT SO DON’T TALK TO ME LIKE THIS. CEASE!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: o.O What?????
Man: BWAK! BWAK! BUCK-BUCK-BUCK-BWAK! *Clucks all the way to the bathroom*