When you tell patrons the bathrooms are closed.

leaving-now-grandpa-simpsons

It’s so quiet in here.

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Spaceship builder

*sigh*
Man: Do you have books on spaceships?
Me: *searches* I see we only have books on rockets and space shuttles here.
Man: NO, I need a SPACEship.
Me: Ok, we don’t have any at this branch, I can request them?
Man: I’m building one, you know?
Me: A…spaceship?
Man: YES. I just need a book to help me. I drew them already.
*shows me a drawing of the Starship Entertprise from Star Trek*

Kinda like this. He’s claiming this as his. But it’s not built yet.

Me: Oh… I see you did.
Man: I’m going to make a warp speed spaceship with a microwave.
Me: Sounds cool. Did you want me to order the book?
Man: *Talks to me for the next 20 minutes about his microwave space ship*

Lemon play

Patron: “Why can’t my son play with the lemon? ”
Me: “Because it’s an actual lemon.”
Patron: “It’s just a lemon.”
Me: “That someone can step on.”
Patron: “No one’s going to step on it.”
Me: “Ma’am, it’s food…produce. Not a toy. There are actual toys to play with over here.”

WHY IS THIS EVEN A CONVERSATION?